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Since I’ve been writing this blog for a while now, I feel comfortable sharing things with you that I wouldn’t be ready to share elsewhere. One of these is that I will literally purchase EVERYTHING with the title “Shaolin” or “Ninja”. EVERYTHING With the two combined words, these purchases can be in the thousands, so it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say I’m an easy mark. Now, if a film is to be made combining the two, it is of no surprise that the said film will always remain on the topmost priority list. This week I discuss Robert Tai’s Shaolin Vs Ninja.
Robert Tai is somewhat of a polymath in the martial arts world. He has worked as either an actor or choreographer in some of the greatest films of the genre.
The level of Tai’s involvement in the productions such as Five Deadly Venoms and The Chinatown Kid are fiercely contested. His claim is that he was single handedly responsible for the first movie, but there is suspicion he is greatly exaggerating. However, it is clear to see he was employed in the Shaw studios during their glory days and mastered a number of nifty skills. His own films, though, which were mainly done in the early 80s after he left the Shaw studio, are much more obvious in style and construction but have arguably become cult classics for cheap martial arts enthusiasts. The most popular one is Ninja: The Final Duel – a widely known film which a hardcore martial arts fans knows as ‘the holy grail’. Ninologists regard this movie as mythical because its complete version boasts a whopping nine to eleven hours of running time, displaying the unrestrained fantasies of naked ninjas battling enormous water spiders. How much more blissful imagery lies within the remaining footage? Lucky the magic got cut down to just a 90 minute film. Shaolin Vs Ninja possibly the most disappointing of the lot, revealing none of the craziness that the Final Duel does, gives the viewers a glimpse into the way Tai works. Tai’s philosophy of filmmaking reveals itself in this movie which is inexpensive to say the least as ‘the more fighting, the better the movie’ and sadly reveals his incompetence to the audience.
In pure amusement, this too joins the league of movies where the title gives out almost all of the plo (which is more directly titled The Story of Shaolin) is one where they do not try to depict the work in a nutshell and rather go onto lecture on the history of the Shaolin Temple, complete with mangled insights such as “Behavior in collaboration with wealthy merchants severely abused the souety” (sic). But it’s actually not that complicated. During the Ching Dynasty, Japan which in these types of flicks is usually portrayed as nefarious and set firmly in the past – now wishes to annex the Shaolin Temple. Obviously this is something that the monks would rather not happen. The Japanese come up with several disastrous scheming plans and in the end just unleash a horde of ninjas.
Still, it’s a reasonable enough premise – one kind of religiously systhematic highly control art against the other but it isn’t as engaging due to the lack of plot, characters or structure. For instance, an hour or so into it, the US Japanese and the US Chinese decide to settle their differences with a contest and I must say there are very few things I relish more than a good contest. Unfortunately, it’s just not set up for maximum enjoyment. Even though the fights featuring masochistic agression remain mechnically promising, there is little effort since we are not really clear who fifty percent of the characters are, and what they are capabe of.
The more entertaining tournaments are the ones where one person stands out and acceptable and fun to watch villains ready to be dealt with. Watching a villain equipped with a fantastic weapon and on the verge of terrible destruction in the first half of the movie is very interesting. You know, he will use it in the second half and the good guy will have to outsmart him to survive. However, with Shaolin Vs Ninja, it’s more like ‘here’s a dude duffing up a dude, here’s another dude duffing up another dude,’ so there is no nuance or formal variation, making it harder to care. Nevertheless, at the very least the costumes are rather affable, and the sets are quite nice for such a small amount budgeted (if you love large golden Buddhas it is definitely a winner for you).
First and foremost, don’t expect too much ninjing from this film, because, if that is what you’re looking for, it is regrettably lacking. There are a few short but powerful ninja battle scenes and some of the customary running over tiled rooftops, but ninjas are not the center of focus in the film and don’t perform very fascinating magic or ninja antics. The plot is more focused on the monks’ spiritual purity in contrast to the rather absurd schemes of the villains with their Hitler-moustaches.
Dubbing is laughably atrocious in the English print. I know I have been through ‘interesting’ dubs, but this one is exceptional. The guy playing most of the voices sounds like he is either heavily high, sarcastic or both. This adds an additional layer of confusion to the film. I’d say that, in summary, Shaolin Vs Ninja is an enjoyable showcase of Robert Tai’s formidable and yes, I will say it, underrated skills. Tai’s films are best enjoyed in ‘bite-sized’ portions, which translates to setting a timer for five minutes each morning to psych yourself up for the day’s work. Have you had your morning cup of Tai yet?
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